Are we products of our environment or products of our expectations ?

             

 

After watching the video of the author briefly explaining his experiences which inspired the book. I took some time to reflect on my own experiences, especially ones that were painful but provoked change. I believe that both statements have truth in them. The first statement states “we are products of our own environment”, personally to some extent we are but not permanently. Childhood trauma can take an individual years to recover from and if someone grew up in a household that lacked their needs being met. Then yes the potential outcome of that in their pre teen years to young adult years will be affected by that upbringing. However, it doesn’t mean the individual is a permanent product of their environment. There is always room to grow and change especially if they gain the knowledge and gain the access to resources and opportunity for healing. Second statement states “we are products of our own expectations” which I believe is true also because our expectations shape our day to day choices. Our expectations can be tied to what was expected of us growing up from our elders. And this can play out in a negative way or positive way. Overall, I can't say either statement is true but I do see the power in the second statement because ultimately we all have the power to make certain decisions in our life. We don’t have to follow certain negative patterns or cycles we’ve become accustomed to due to family issues, social pressure. etc. 

 

 

One of my favorite authors named “Iyanla Vanzant” grew up in horrific circumstances. She was born into a family that was not only poor but lacked the emotional capacity to support her needs. So by the time she was fourteen. She learned that she was unimportant, unworthy and invisible. Why would her mentality on life become so negative at this early age of youth ? Because when she was sexually abused by a family member. Nobody protected her. Her mother died of cancer when she was only four years old. Her father put more effort into another family he had ( he led a double life) rather than the relationship with her. Her grandmother had beaten her so bad once, she developed welts on her back. And lastly, she was a black woman growing up in a time where racism was still alive and this made school another form of emotional neglect for her. Her story took a change when she was about twenty one and had three children. She was living off food stamps at the time and took a bus when she saw the sign “are you ready to change your life?’ She then read that the sign was an ad for an opportunity to register in community college in her town. That was the beginning of her healing which led to a law degree, then a workshop to help victims of domestic violence, then Oprah reading one of her books for this workshop and her ending up on national television with a best seller. Her story and books have personally inspired me and helped me heal personal wounds. Of course, people are products of their environments because pain runs deep but trauma doesn’t have to become a lifestyle.